The “six diary questions” are a structured reflection method Raymond Hou (Raymond) made public in 2018. At a fixed time each evening, he wrote a diary by answering six prepared questions, each tied to a capability he wanted to improve over the long term. This was Raymond’s personal version of Retrospectives, turning the abstract idea of “self-reflection” into a fixed template that could be repeated and revisited over time. The method was documented in two September 2018 articles on the 柚智夫妻 public account, when Raymond was just beginning to write and had not yet started a full-time business (see Beijing Eve: 柚智夫妻 Public Account and ‘365-Day Countdown’ (2018–2020)).
Trigger: Losing the Habit of Reflection at a High-Speed Pace
The method began with an interruption in Raymond’s reflection habit. He described returning from Japan with a cold and feeling unwell and sleepy, so life “slowed down from a high-speed state.” During the days when he was forced to slow down, he realized that his previous habit of reflective journaling had disappeared during that year. What seemed to be a “weekly journal” on the platform was actually just a roundup of current-event opinions he had shared on Facebook, not a real review.1
This is a recurring trigger for the pattern: when the pace and volume of output are too high, review and consolidation are pushed out. Raymond’s response was not to grit his teeth through it with willpower. He reopened the diary tool he had used before, reset a set of fixed questions, and used structure to restore reflection to everyday life.
Why Use a Framework Instead of Free Writing?
Raymond argues that a reflection diary “should not be written directly; it needs a framework.” His reason is that to find personal patterns and changes in a diary, one should start from “questions,” and each question should be attached to a clear area of desired growth. Otherwise, writing can easily turn into a running record of emotions. The framework directs each day’s review along the same dimensions, so that after enough time one can compare entries and see fundamental changes in one’s thinking.
He treats “review” as an ability to extend one’s time horizon. In his account, short-term thinking belongs to the animal side of human nature—eat when hungry, feel deprived when losing, seek immediate feedback. Reflection lets people step back from the short term and see delayed causes and effects, such as “the blessing in taking a loss takes a long time to feel, while the loss must be borne immediately,” allowing judgment that goes beyond the present moment.
The Design of the Six Questions
Each of the six questions corresponds to a capability, moving from an overall sense of the day and interpersonal interaction to family and learning:
- Storytelling: Describe today in one word, because every day is unique.
- Win-win thinking: Whom did you speak with today? Did you let the other person express themselves fully and feel trusted?
- Keeping one’s word: What did you promise today? Is it included in your future plans? Be a person of principle.
- Positive engagement: When facing difficulty, did you try to understand the nature of the situation and focus on “how to do this better”?
- Time with family: Did you do anything related to your family today? A phone call or a meal together counts.
- Basic assumptions: What thinking did you update today? Did you form a new definition or perspective on something?
Raymond summarized the sequence as “from an overall feeling, to interpersonal interaction, then family, and learning.”2 In practice, he used a journaling app called Grid Diary, setting one question per box to make writing more concise.
Separating “Me” from “What I Do”
Behind the six questions is a cognitive premise Raymond repeatedly emphasizes: separate “me” from “my opinions and my actions.” He has said that he used to be sensitive and easily hurt. After thinking through the day’s events a few times every day, he gradually saw that growth came from changes in “opinions and actions,” not from changes to “me as a person.” In his words, “‘I’ is only the result; ‘actions and perspectives’ are the targets.” This distinction helps him respond rationally to outside criticism by treating it as an opportunity to improve his views and actions rather than as a personal attack.
He also preserves a place for feelings and offers a complementary principle: “Reflect on events; write stories about feelings.” Events are analyzed rationally for improvement, while feelings are recorded as unique story material for later conversations, examples, and speeches. This allows expression to rely less on vague adjectives and more on concrete stories.
The Fixed Cycle at 10:30 Every Night
The reflection was tied to a fixed time: Raymond started writing his diary at 10:30 every night, for about thirty minutes. His explanation of why he could keep at it is to turn persistence into something habit has a hold on: behavior continues because it receives positive feedback; after more than ten days, it becomes a habit, and then “it feels strange to skip even one day.” A fixed time was therefore not maintained through discipline alone. It made reflection a daily default that felt uncomfortable to omit.
This daily cycle served a longer view of time, captured in the article’s phrase “make friends with time.” A single day’s review helped him notice feelings overlooked in ordinary life and feel that he had made some progress each day. Looking back over accumulated diaries revealed changes in thinking patterns and exceeded the limits of a single experience. From this he drew several judgments about time horizons: failure is not necessarily the mother of success; taking a loss may truly be a blessing; and success depends less on how well one does something than on how long one can keep doing it.
Relationship to Later Methodology
The six diary questions are an early, personal prototype of Raymond’s Retrospectives methodology. Both turn “what one experienced” into “what one learned.” The difference is that this template is a micro-level practice tied to fixed capabilities and performed daily, rather than an in-depth review of a single decision after the fact. Its features—framework first, execution at a fixed time, and long-term review to find patterns—also foreshadow Raymond’s later preferences in Time Management and Growth Mindset: use repeatable structures to support long-term accumulation rather than relying on one-time willpower (see Retrospectives).
Sources
Footnotes
-
Raymond Hou, “[323-Day Countdown] Journaling and the Habit of Reflection,” WeChat public-account article, 2018-09-26. View original ↩
-
Raymond Hou, “[322-Day Countdown] My Six Diary Questions: How to Make Friends with Time,” WeChat public-account article, 2018-09-27. View original ↩